The Birchwood Project

During this past year, we reviewed briefly Dr. Carol Dweck’s popular new book Mindsets: The New Psychology of Success. The book’s theme focuses on the growth mindset and how to teach children to view opportunity, achievement, and success as things that are within their own control. The book explains that a history of one’s accomplishments is related more closely to the attitude and effort of personal achievement ethics, than it is to factors outside of one’s control – heredity, environment, chance.

I believe a growth mindset is particularly important amidst cultural pressures and tendencies that allow children to become victims of their circumstances and to blame people and places for their own hardship, failure, and disappointment. The theme is played out nightly in the news. You can hear it from children, young adults, and often parents, who are looking to avoid personal struggles or responsibility. Dweck would categorize this outlook on life as the result of a fixed mindset, a mindset that says. “Without the right environment, or people, or money, I am powerless, a victim of my circumstances, a prisoner of my personal history.”

My observation during my 30+ years in education is that this attitude seems to be gaining more and more traction among our youth. If young people aren’t careful, this thinking can create a form of 21st century slavery, a bondage to the assumption that we are powerless until someone or some program gives us what we want. To counter this general trend it’s important that we teach our children the attitudes and habits of the growth mindset. We should help them emulate the attitudes and work ethic of the wonderful success stories that surround us.

Like the story of Melinda, a teenage girl I met 20 years ago. She was attending Case Western Reserve University on a full scholarship, yet she had been educated in one of Cleveland’s poorest performing schools. I asked her, “How did you do it? Why didn’t you drop out like so many other girls from your neighborhood? Why weren’t you overwhelmed by the debilitating circumstances surrounding you?” She gave me a knowing smirk and said, “My Mom woulda’ killed me!” She went on to explain that her mother accepted no excuses for poor academic performance. When Melinda griped about poor teachers, her mother shot back, “How does a poor teacher keep you from studying or getting help from tutors?” If Melinda complained that the other students didn’t care about school and teased her when she took school seriously, Momma shot back without mercy, “They are losers. Do you think they have any kind of meaningful future? Do you think their opinions mean anything or have any other purpose except to tear you down and make you like them?” Melinda looked up at me and said, “Momma usually won the arguments . . . and here I am today.”

A recurring theme in my middle school classes is “take charge.” I often ask my students, “What are your goals? What challenges are before you? Are you facing problems that need to be resolved?” Then I show them how to “attack,” how to get the bottom of these issues and forge a strategy to move forward. From my experience, young people love this kind of talk. They are inspired and ready to work. They want to assume control of their lives. With encouragement and support from those who love them, they are completely capable of taking charge. We just need to show them how.

If we help our children see our great country as a field of opportunity, they can, through effort and struggle, reach their highest ambitions. But if they are guided by self-indulgent cultural trends, our young people will find themselves in a swampy marsh, unable to move and a target of predators.

By Charles Debelak

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When heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve where he is incompetent.” Meng Tzu, China, 3^rd cent, BCD

If parents hope to instill a growth mindset in their children, it will be important to teach them how to face life’s afflictions. Affliction, hardship, and disappointment are inescapable. They are life’s crucible inflicting mixed results upon our lives. They can forge strength, courage, and virtue, or they can impose crushing defeat and withdrawal. The choice in life is not whether or not we will face these trials, but how we will cope with them. This requires a healthy mindset, one that understands the place and purpose of life’s challenges.

In raising our four children, Helene and I found this task the most difficult. We did not want to help our children to face any afflictions, hardships or disappointments. Our parental hearts wanted to protect them from every possible heartache. When difficulties occurred my first reaction was to defend them, justify them and make someone else pay for their pain! But of course deep at the core of our hearts, Helene and I knew better; this was life, bad “stuff” happens. But we also knew that good things could come out of each and every trial.

What then. . .? We took a deep breath, put aside our paternal subjectivity, and helped our children gain perspective. We had to take the first step to swallow our inclination to blame or find excuses, and only then, we could put the affliction in perspective. Something could be learned out of this trial; something could be gained in the end.

As we muted our visceral reactions, we were able to comfort our children, support them, and when their tears finally stopped, talk to them about making something good emerge in the end. They were too young to do it on their own. They needed guidance. Without this support they could become bitter, a slave of their own anger toward others, allowing a poor self-concept to take root, and perhaps lean toward a lifestyle that always seeks the path of least resistance. Certainly if Helene and I felt we needed to be our children’s advocates with the people or events that caused the anguish, we jumped into the middle of the problem. But often what was needed more often, was for us to invest time with our children, working together to craft a plan that, on the one hand, helped them gain a perspective about the trial, while on the other hand, making the most of the trial.

The process was always painful for Mom, Dad and the kids. But like the afflictions themselves, these times became a factor for lessons that could last a life time.

By Charles Debelak

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All students should develop a growth mindset: those who assume they are “bright” and those who do not. In either case, if children develop a growth mindset they develop a life pattern that fosters hope. Whenever they take on a new activity, whenever they face a new stage in life, they will focus on how to improve and grow.

Developing a growth mindset begins with changing children’s perceptions, and changing the language that supports those perceptions. The result is student progress and success.

I love teaching mathematics because this process is so evident. Students march into my class in the fall with clear notions about their mathematical prowess, or lack thereof. When Julie entered my class one September, she warned me ahead of time, “I’m not good at math.” She wanted to make sure that I understood why she was going to fail and why I should go easy on her. That’s how a fixed mindset works in a child who assumes she is not capable. On the other hand, Linda entered the same class possessing a stellar mathematics history in the fourth grade. She was at the top of the class. She also gave me a “heads up” on the first day of school: “Hey, Mr. D, I’m really good at math!”

Both students had a fixed mindset. Both had drawn conclusions about their abilities, and I knew from experience, they both would perform up to the level that justified what they believed about themselves. Julie would begin pouting from the first day, lamenting her lack of mathematical brain power while Linda would thrust herself into her work to show-off her competencies and impress her new teacher. Of course, little did Linda realize that old Mr. D knows quite well that when she encounters math skills that she will not understand simply by raw talent alone, she too would slip into a mathematical “funk” and decide she is not as good at mathematics as she first believed.

For both students it was time to reshape their mindset and to learn a new language that would support that mindset.

I told Julie about some of my math students from the past who claimed they were not “good” at math. I described the power of practice, focused efforts, and the necessity of pushing yourself. Then with supportive coaching, focused instruction, repetition, steady and detailed support, and warm, loving encouragement, Julie learned! She experienced success and she loved it. From this starting point I could tell her, “Look what you did! You practiced. You worked hard. You did not give up. And you got it!” At this point my praises are only reinforcing the intrinsic satisfaction of accomplishment. Julie is on her way toward building a growth mindset.

Linda’s experience is a little different. She could do just about everything I gave her during the first month of school. I realized I had a very bright girl on my hands and it was time to give her more challenging work. She could do more and should do more, so I congratulated her on her efforts and asked her if she would like to attempt some very advanced concepts. She beamed. “Definitely, Mr. D. Bring it on!”

Round #2 was a little different. I made sure the level of work was at such a level that she would not understand it without some of the same efforts Julie had to learn: practice, focused effort, and self-discipline. The initial results were interesting. Julie did not understand how to do the problems and she simply quit. She said, “I can’t do this” Period. And I thought; “Good,” now we can talk about effort. Now we can begin nurturing a growth mindset that would, in turn, enable Linda to develop and realize her full potential in mathematics.

Next month we will continue our discussion of how to nurture a growth mindset.

By Charles Debelak

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Last month we explained that parents can have a great deal of input concerning their children’s emerging competency and motivation. They can guide their children to address small and great challenges, and then step-bystep walk them through the stages of effort that lead to success. But more importantly, not only should parents help their children establish early competencies, they should also help fashion a mindset that will propel children into a lifelong pathway that is motivated toward achievement, a life whose premise is to grow, blossom, and reinvent itself year after year, decade after decade. Carol Dweck, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist and author of Mindset – the New Psychology of Success, calls this disposition toward life a “growth mindset.”

To understand the meaning of “growth mindset” it helps to understand its converse, a “fixed mindset.” With a fixed mindset, children (and often parents) believe that ability and talent are fixed: either a child is endowed with specific skills and talents or he is not. In this mindset, a child, after only a few experiences, makes assumptions about his innate abilities. For example, because he does not understand how to do a particular math problem, or how to write a clear paragraph, or hit a baseball, the child concludes that he “is just not good” in this area. Based upon this outlook, it becomes a child’s habit to make quick judgments about his abilities, and these premature judgments determine whether he will stretch forward toward greater competencies or use a contrived belief about “inability” as an excuse to give up.

Usually it is not in the child’s mindset (unless an adult intervenes) to reason, “It doesn’t matter whether I am presently good at mathematics or writing or baseball, because if I am not “good at it” I will study, practice more, and work harder. Eventually I will get it and I will do it well.” A fixed mindset, however, does not have strategies to face setbacks or failures. Instead the fixed mindset exercises coping mechanisms. The child will find someone or something to blame for his failure, “I am just not smart in math. This material is too hard. My math teachers are not good.”Furthermore, the fixed mindset lets the child shirk his responsibility to learn and consequently limits any achievement. Having a fixed mindset makes effort disagreeable and leaves the child without any strategies to improve and grow. The growth mindset, on the other hand, looks at ability and talent as having expanding potential. It recognizes what research has confirmed: the brain is like a muscle and if exercised properly its capacity and functionality can grow.

The growth mindset doesn’t care whether the child’s early experience at any given activity is successful or not because it knows that talent grows by effort. Through practice, exercise, self-discipline and perseverance, the child will become competent. With a growth mindset, the child develops strategies for facing challenges, dealing with setbacks and failures, finding new and creative pathways to success. The growth mindset enables. It mpowers. In the course of a lifetime, those with a growth mindset are ever-expanding their skills and talents because facing challenges and solving problems has become a way of life. Those with a growth mindset are continually making their own life and the lives of those around them rich and full.

Next month we will examine the attributes of a fixed mindset and explore how to cultivate these traits in our children.

By Charles Debelak

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As we discussed last month, all children strive for competency. They want to get good at something and establish themselves as a capable person. But we also noted that if left solely to their own choice children may avoid pursuing challenging competencies that will best develop their personal potential. They dodge these tasks because often they are arduous, requiring more thought, effort, and time. They also pose the potential for failure. Hence, some adult intervention is necessary to provide children the support they need to face these challenges.

Take, for example, learning how to play the piano. It is not unusual for a six year old to express interest in learning how to play, and at first he may show enthusiasm for lessons. Learning at first is easy. But before long comes the necessity of drill and repetition, and there is no easy path to gain proficiency except through diligence and hard work. Maybe the child has to learn scales or memorize a short piece. In either case, the task is beyond the will power of a six year old child. Young children lack the maturity to tell themselves to focus, work hard and persevere. Adult intervention is needed and someone’s support (usually Mom’s) must provide an encouraging yet firm hand enabling the child to succeed. Once the child gains some degree of mastery, he experiences success and is inspired to continue. Of course we know the next challenge for the young pianist is right around the corner, one that extends beyond the child’s strength of will (even if he possesses the capacity for advancement), and success will require the firm yet encouraging attention of Mom. In order for children to become highly accomplished pianists the cycle may continue into adolescence.

Mrs. Chu, our music teacher, tells me that among highly accomplished pianists, there comes a time when they are not only improving their talent but they begin to realize that an integral part of development is this process in which they recognize challenge, face challenge, and meet challenge becomes an integral part of their skill development. They actually thrive on the process as much as they enjoy the beauty of their music.

An academic parallel is learning to write expository essays, those which require not only good writing skills but also clear and logical reasoning. Unlike the experience of the aspiring pianist, the elementary school child may not even begin with the slightest interest in learning how to write clearly. A teacher can try to describe the personal satisfaction acquired through writing well, but the child won’t buy it. How can writing be “fun?”

In this case it takes a few “hard nosed” teachers ready to provide not only writing expertise, but even more, the will power, the encouragement, the guidance, and the unrelenting support that compels children to build their compositions from atrocious first edits to exemplary final products. From my experience, I am not sure whether this process is more difficult for the teacher or the student because although the child is being compelled to do work that he does not want to do, the teacher on the other hand, must work with the student’s resistance, the absence of skills, a negative attitude, and the incalculable amount of time and effort it takes to bring each child’s writing from literary and logical mush, to clear, precise message (it is no wonder that teaching writing on this level is often neglected in most schools). Nevertheless, the reward at the end is great. Over time children discover the deep satisfaction of articulating their thoughts to specific audiences and seeing the impact their writing has on others. They learn to appreciate the value and rigor of good reasoning and logic, and they recognize the importance of being able to communicate clearly and effectively: a competency that provides lifelong value.

by Charles Debelak

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Research beginning in the 1950’s supports what most parents recognize intuitively: children desire competency. They want to become good at something and they want to be recognized for their competencies. The best anecdotal proof of this phenomenon is a child’s face just after experiencing success. Not only his or her countenance beams, but the entire body is animated with satisfaction. It feels so good to accomplish things.

But equally important, research notes that children wish to grow in their specific competencies and if given the opportunity they will readily select tasks that “represent an optimal challenge given their capacities” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1975; Deci, 1975). In other words, once children establish some level of task success, they want to get better. They will seek out challenges that are slightly more difficult, ones that suggest probable success and increased competency. As competency grows, the child identifies himself with the activity: “I’m a good reader. I’m a good problem solver. I’m a good athlete.” Little-by-little, just like their adult models, children describe themselves by their competencies. It is also important to note, however, that children will be careful not to select challenges that might lead to failure. Hence they may avoid those tasks which would be most helpful to them in the long run.

The drive for competency places each child on a little personal odyssey, a quest for competencies in life. Children are programmed to engage their world, trying to establish who they are and who they will become. Even without parent or teacher input, children will seek competencies in life and growth in those competencies.

But parents and educators should also realize that most children, left to their own devices, will not necessary seek competence in the more challenging and personally enriching tasks, those that will most benefit their lives. Sometimes the competencies children seek from their own initiative can be productive, but often they are only choices along the path of least resistance. They have little impact on the child’s course toward productive adulthood. It is a self-selecting process and the odds of enduring value are low. For many years I have watched, with no small amount of heartache, some young people who become very good at activities that do nothing to benefit them in the future and sometimes even lead them down roads that squander their potential. Are they competent? Certainly. But competent at what?

On the other hand, parents and educators can direct the development of competences toward fulfilling the child’s highest personal potential. This is more difficult because often the development of these competencies requires more thought, more effort, more time, and they pose the potential for initial failure and discouragement. Children left solely to themselves, e.g. “What would you like to do, Honey?” will usually avoid the kind of activities that lead to productive competencies. Intervention is needed. Some adult must exercise time, patience, and perseverance to help children discover competencies in those tasks and activities that will lead not only to a fuller and more productive personal life, but also to greater personal satisfaction.

Let’s talk about these activities next month.

by Charles Debelak

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